Monday, February 6, 2017

She is Who She is

The most perplexing, difficult and loving relationship we will ever experience will be the one we have with our mothers.  Our mothers are our first love and our life long teacher. Unfortunately, through the years, we can drift apart through conflict and misunderstandings.  Many of us won’t find our way back to that sacred relationship until it is too late.
Therese Deranger (Adam) 
To anyone who choses to listen to me, I tell them that they can have a loving relationship with their Mom too.  It is not that difficult, all it takes is a shift in consciousness. Then I tell them my story and how it came to be that I held my Mom in the highest esteem possible. I am honoured to say that I had a profound and extraordinary relationship with my Mom until her death in 2016. The beauty is my love for her didn’t end with her death, I continue to love her from deep within my soul.   

When I was younger I feared my Mom and didn’t understand her.  She was an enigma to me. She constantly yelled out orders to us, clean this, do that, do it again from morning until bedtime. I learned how to do things quickly and stay out of her way. She was a strong willed woman raised in a traditional Denesuline lifestyle, a lifestyle I didn’t understand nor appreciate until I was well into adulthood.  Thankfully, she gave me the gift of the Densuline language, my most prized skill.

My relationship with my mom changed by accident. One day, while driving with a colleague to meet with a First Nation community north of Edmonton, my passenger began talking about her Mom, with whom she had a difficult relationship.  She mentioned that it wasn’t until after her death that she understood her and she was regretful for the wasted years.  She went on to say that it was through taking a course in communications that opened her up to possibilities for creating exceptional relationships.  I was intrigued.
  
I enrolled in the 3½ days Communications Course with Landmark Education.  It was an intensive and arduous course that went deep below the surface to find the core of what makes us who we are.  Many participants had breakthroughs that weekend.   I didn’t enrol in the course with the intent to work on my relationship with my Mom; instead I wanted to be a better communicator.
 
It was half-way through the course when what someone said triggered a memory of something my Dad said when asked if he minded when Mom bossed him around.  He responded: “She is who she is.”  At this juncture, in this course, this made perfect sense and I really got what he said. It was transformational; it changed my life and profoundly changed my relationship with my Mom.
  

SHE IS WHO SHE IS!!!  
 
She didn’t have to change.  I didn’t have to wish she were different. She is who she is.  She is the culmination of her parents, grandparents, relationships, and her experiences.  All I had to do was change my perspective towards how I “saw” her.  She didn’t have to do anything, just be herself.  Simple but powerfulThis is her story.  My love for her grew and grew; it grew way beyond me.  She is the ultimate love story of my life.   Miss you Mama.  May 8, 1919 – February 12, 2016. 

Blog Archive

Labels

#greencold-pressedjuice #healthcare #sisterlylove #healing #love (1) 100 days of gratitude (4) 2008 (1) 2010 review (2) 2012 (1) 2014 letters (1) 2015 (1) 2016 (1) 2018 (2) 2019 review (1) 2021 (1) 26 years (1) 6th line (1) 751 Discovered (1) A Homemade Life: Stories and Recipes from My Kitchen Table (1) Acadia University (1) acai bowls (1) accident (1) accidents (1) ACDEN (3) ACFN (9) Addictions (4) Adia (1) Advertising (1) Africa (1) Agricultural benefits (1) Airbnb (1) Ajahn Brahm (1) Albert Mercredi (1) Alberta (1) Alberta government (1) Alcoholism (4) Alinker (1) Allan Adam (1) alternative care (1) Andrew (9) Andrew Gr.7 (1) andrew's books (1) Angelina (1) anger (1) animals (1) Annie Pootoogook (1) anniversary (7) Aphantasia (1) apology (2) April (1) Arctic (1) artist (2) Arts (1) Asia (1) Athabasca Chipewyan First Nation (1) attachment (1) Attawapiskat (1) August 2011 (1) aunt (1) Aunt Marie (1) aunt Marie Memory lane (1) Auschwitz (1) Australia (3) Autumn (2) Ayurveda (1) Baba (1) Bad to the bone (1) BAL 2021 (1) BBF (1) BC (1) Being a leader (1) Bennet Dam (1) Beverages (1) Beyak (1) bias (1) Bill C-31 (1) Billy (1) Biology (1) birthday (5) birthdays (1) blessing (2) blogging (3) blogs (1) Blood pressure (1) Bob Dylan (1) Bodhi (2) book review (3) Books (3) boys (1) brain (1) breast cancer (1) Brother (2) brothers (1) Buckminster Fuller (1) Buddhism (1) Buddhist (1) Burns (1) Bush (1) Business (1) camera (1) Canada (1) Canadians (1) cancer (1) Cancers (1) Captain Schettino (1) captain Sullenberger (1) Cars (1) Carswell Lake (1) cat (1) CBC (1) cell phones (1) Challenge (2) change (1) charity (1) Charles Camsell Hospital (1) cheating (1) Chief (2) Chief Adam (1) Chief Allan Adam (1) Children (1) China (1) Chipman House (1) Chocolate (1) choices (1) Cholangiocarcinoma (1) Christian (1) Christmas (8) Christmas 2015 (1) Christmas music (1) Christmas Mystery (1) classic cars (1) cleaning (1) climate change (1) cold (1) cold pressed juice (1) cold season (1) cold virus (1) colonic (1) Coma (1) communication (4) community (2) Consumer alert (1) conversations (2) Cook (1) coping (1) core (1) cottage (1) Cough (1) country life (4) covid (1) covid19 (2) Cows and Ploughs (1) CRE2015 conference (1) creative (1) Crisis (1) Daniel Lanois (1) Danielle (1) Dawn (1) daydreaming (1) Death (6) death life (1) deer (1) Dene (2) Dene Sayisi (1) Denesuline (1) dentist (1) deranger (2) destiny (1) desuline (1) Developed country (1) disc hernaiation (1) disconnected (1) discovery (1) Distracted drivers (1) DIY (1) doghead (1) dogs (1) Dorval (2) Dr. O’Connor (1) drama free (1) dreams (3) drive (1) Drum (1) drunk drivers (1) Dunrobin (1) Dunrobin Ontario (1) earthquake (1) Edmond Metatawabin (1) Edmonton (2) Ego (1) Elderly (1) Elders (1) Election (2) election 2015 (2) electronics (1) Elegy for Mama (1) elope (1) emotions (2) Empire State Building (1) Enabling (1) energy (1) Environment (2) enzymes (1) Eulogy. (1) Executive Balinese Home (1) Facebook (5) fall (3) family (47) family tree (3) family vacation (2) farm (1) farmer's market (1) Father (1) Feb. 12 (1) feel good (1) Fiction (1) Fiji (1) fire (1) Fire 2016 (1) Firewater (1) First Nation (6) First Nations (4) First Nations Financial Transparency Act (1) fisher (1) Flora and Fauna (1) focus (1) fondue (1) Food (5) Food and Related Products (1) for sale (1) Forgiveness (1) Fort Chipewyan (20) Fort McMurray (12) Frank Abbott (1) Fred C Adam (1) freedom of speech (1) Freeze (1) French Toast (1) Freshman (1) Friend (1) friends (6) friendship (5) fun (3) functional medicine (1) future (1) Games (1) garden (2) Ghetto (1) Ghost (1) gifts (3) ginger tea (1) Girl Who Kicked The Hornets' Nest (1) Goals (2) God (1) gofundme (1) Good bye Mom (1) goodbye (1) Governance (1) gratitude (3) green smoothie challenge (1) green smoothies (3) Green tea (1) greens (1) Gretchen (1) Gretchen Morgan (1) Grey Owl (1) guest book (1) habits (2) hair (1) halloween (1) happiness (7) Harold R Johnson (2) harvest (1) hawaii (5) healing (2) Healing Our Spirit World Wide (1) Health (13) health Brain (1) healthy (1) heart (1) Heart and Soul (1) Hearts (1) heatwave (3) Helen (1) helping (1) Henry's (1) here is what is (1) High School (1) Hilton Hotels (1) Historical fiction (1) Historical novel (1) history (1) holidays (6) Holy Angels (4) holy Angels Residential School Dene (1) holy Angels residents (1) Home (2) homeless (1) homeopathic (1) hope (2) Horns (1) Horns: A Novel (1) horror (3) Hot chocolate (1) housework (1) hubby (2) Hummingbird Hill B and B (1) hurt (1) hurts (1) hypertension (1) Ila Bussidor (1) impermance (1) independence (1) Indian Act (2) Indian wedding (1) indigenous communities (2) Indigenous healthcare (1) Indigenous Peoples (1) integrity (1) intention (1) intergenerational trauma (1) Isidore (1) Jacob Liberman (1) January blues (1) Jerry Seinfeld (1) Jian Ghomeshi (1) joe hill (1) Joseph Boyden (1) Joy Bliss Raw (1) juice (4) Karen (1) Kauai (3) Ke e Beach (1) kindeness (1) kindness (2) Kinship (1) Kitty Kelly (1) KMS (1) L (1) L l (1) L le (1) L lea (1) L lead (1) L leade (1) L leader (1) L leaders (1) L leadersh (1) L leadershi (1) L leadership (1) La Loche (1) Lac St. Anne (1) landline phone (1) Last wish (1) laugh (1) Laughter (2) leadership (1) Lend Me a Tenor (1) Lent (2) Leonard Cohen (3) lessons (1) letting go (1) life (14) life skills (4) lifeskills (1) lifestyle (1) Lights (1) Limiting beliefs (1) line ups (1) Lists (1) Literature (2) living (1) liz (1) lost dog (1) love (26) Lumahi Beach (1) Lunar ice (1) Mac (1) Macbook air (1) mad as hell (1) Mad Men (1) Magical universe (1) Makua beach (1) mama (12) manners (1) Maple syrup (1) March winter (1) Margo (2) marriage (1) Mary (2) Mary Olive (1) Massage (1) Master Cleanse (1) Matt Lauer (1) Max Deranger (1) MD (1) Meaning of life (1) media (1) meditation (5) meeting (1) Melbourne (1) members (1) men (1) Mental health (2) miata MX5 (1) Mike and Kay (1) mind (1) Mindful (1) Missing and Murdered women and girls (1) Molly Wizenberg (1) mom (1) moments (2) Moneca (1) Money (2) Montessori method (1) Montreal (2) Moon (1) Mother Earth (1) mothers (1) Music (2) Music Box (1) musician (1) musing (1) my birthday wish (1) MySpace (1) nap (1) NASA (1) National Arts Centre (1) National Youth forum (1) Natural law (1) Nature (4) Nechi (1) Neil Young (1) neuroplasty (1) New Year's resolution (4) New Years (2) New York City (1) news (1) newsletter (2) Night Spirits (1) no snow (1) Norman Doige (1) Novel (1) November madness (1) nuheyatie (1) Nuns (1) Nurses (2) NYC (1) Obama (1) Odyssey trip (1) oilsands (3) old days (1) On the Web (1) Onion (1) Onions and Garlic (1) Online Communities (2) Online Writing (1) opinion (1) opioids (1) Oprah (1) Oprah Winfrey (2) Organic food (1) Ottawa (2) Ottawa River (3) Pacific Foods (1) pain (1) painting (1) pandemic 2020.doctor (1) Paris (1) passion (1) pat brother. (1) Patric (3) Pay-Per-Click Advertising (1) Peace (3) Peggy Blair (1) People (1) People and Society (2) Personal finance (1) Peru (1) pets (1) picnic (2) pizza (1) planes (1) Play (1) plumber (1) poem (2) poet (2) point claire (2) Poland (2) politics (3) pollution (1) pond (1) Pool (3) Port Alberni (1) power (1) power outage (1) present (2) Princeville (1) privacy (1) Produce (1) Promotion (1) public washroom (1) Publications (1) purpose (2) Q (1) Quebec City (2) Racism (1) raclette (1) Radha Agrawal community (1) random (1) Range Rover Evoque (1) raw foods (6) RCMP (1) RECONCILIATION (2) Reflection (1) rehabilitation (2) relationships (12) relaxing (2) religion (1) remembrance day (1) repairs (1) Residential School (2) Residential schools (3) resolution (1) Resolutions (1) responsibility (1) Review (1) Rick Mehta (1) Riddell street (1) rituals (1) river (1) River musings (1) Roger (1) Rose (1) Rossi (3) rumi (1) Rupert Ross (1) sacrifice (1) sadness (1) sailboats (1) Salad (1) Saskatchewan (1) Saturday (1) school (1) schools (1) Scotland (1) Scottish independence (1) Search Engines (1) Search for Granddaughter (1) seasons (1) Second Life (1) Security (2) self care (2) Self identifying as indigenous (1) sensual (1) sept 2 (1) September 18th 2014 (1) Services (1) shakespeare (1) Shanghai (1) sheep (1) Shepherds of Good Hope (1) shooting (1) Shopping (3) Sigh (1) silence (1) singer (1) Sisters (4) sisters. good bye Love (1) skiing (1) sleep (1) small town (1) smile (1) Smoothie (1) snake (1) snow (3) Social Media (5) Social network (3) Social network service (1) Social Networking (1) Society and Culture (2) solocree (1) song (1) Sorapot (1) Sorry (1) soul (2) Soul School (1) souls (2) Spa (1) Specific Claims (1) Spirit of Christmas (1) Spreadsheet (1) Spring (2) Status Indian (1) Stieg Larsson (1) Stillness (1) storytelling (1) Street people (1) strength (1) stress (2) stroke (2) success (1) summer (2) Summer 2012 (3) Summer 2013 (1) summer fun (1) summer intention (1) Sunday 160 (7) sunday picture (1) sunny ways (1) sunrise (1) sunset (1) Surgery (1) surprise (1) Tag (1) tansi (1) Tea (5) Technology (1) Teenagers (1) Tesla (1) thanks (1) Thanksgiving (2) the real you (1) Theatre (1) Therese Deranger (2) thinking (1) thoughts (1) Time (2) tooth (1) Toronto (2) Toxins (1) tradition (1) traffic (1) transformation (1) trapper (1) travel (1) Treaty No.6 (1) Treaty No.8 (2) tribe (1) truth (2) turkey (2) turtles (1) tweets (1) twitter (3) UFO (1) University (1) University of Warsaw (1) unmarked graves (1) unplugged (1) Uranium city (1) vacation (1) Valentine's Day (2) values (1) Victoria (1) Vik (1) vistors (1) vote (1) walk (1) Warsaw (1) Water fasting (1) weather (1) Web Design and Development (1) weddings (2) weight (1) Wellness (1) William Blake (1) William Ricketts (1) Williams (1) Winnipeg (2) winter (2) WIPCE (1) Women (1) world series (1) World War II (1) writer (1) year in review (3) Yma Sumac (1) yoga (1) Youth (1) zombies (1)