Thursday, October 30, 2008

Barack's Message for First Americans

I've never heard any Canadian politicians deliver this type of speech...

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Letting Go, easier said than Done!!!!!

Chasing rainbows. But the rainbow is an illusion, when I get close, it disappears or it moves and the chase is on again.

Today, some questions I ponder:
  • Is relying on family a waste of energy?
  • Is asking for compassion for an elderly family member wasted on the young?
  • Is appealing to the generosity of family futile?
  • Why am I disappointed in some family members who are behaving disrespectfully toward a matriarch of the family, in her 90th year, and is in the most vulnerable period of her life?

At the end of the day, I will let it go... in the darkness I light a candle.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Daniel Lanois Interview - Here Is What Is

Last evening, October 24,2008 we went to see Daniel Lanois in concert at Centrepointe Theatre. It was a small venue, as concerts go, but that only increased the intimacy of the band and the reaction of the fans. There was a mixture of fans from young people in their twenties, and people in their sixties.

My biggest impression of the concert was the fans, who were the most civilized I've ever seen at a concert. Almost like they were still in their respective government jobs and afraid to let lose and just have fun!

Daniel comes across as a normal, humble person, not as a superstar record producer who has worked with Bob Dylan, U2 and many other world artists. His rapport with his very young band was very clear. Also, it was very special to listen to some of his older songs about his early life (mostly in French) with so many of his local relatives among us.

Daniel's solo steel guitar was so vibrant that the fans were so connected in the here is, what is that you could hear a pin drop, if anyone was so careless to drop one. The musical inspiration seemed to reach each of us in the audience directly and vividly. We left completely satisfied but another hour or two would have been great too!

Friday, October 24, 2008

Kitty kat

An incredible picture of being present, Andrew cozying up to Tiger. Tiger has moved on to his next life...(not when this picture was taken, omg, Tiger was alive and well at the taken of this photo)

Thursday, October 16, 2008

I've finally got it!


It took almost ten long years. I kept hoping one day, one day, and maybe this day, but it never happened. I imagined scenarios in my head about how it might happen, and how grateful and how happy I would feel when it happened. I'd have conversations in my head about it too (All this is not very Buddhist like). But it never happened. My friends all said to me, that I should forget about it, not my loss.  I'd say, you're right and yes I can move on. But, in my heart I could not let it go. As the years unfolded I thought less and less about it, but I never forgot and still held on to the fact that one day things would be different.

I was listening to Buddhist monk Ajahn Brahm talk on attachments, and wham, I got it!

This is a sad story about friendship. I had a best-friend who I thought would be my BFF, but one day she decided our friendship was over. She stopped all contact with me. It was only after I sent her a letter requesting an explanation about why she was not returning my calls, (before e-mail) that she called to tell me that it was because of my continued association with her ex husband. She didn't say this, but I think she felt I betrayed her by staying friends with him and his wife to be at the time (now divorced from her too). She said she wanted to leave her life with her ex in her past, and did not want anyone from that period in her present life (very Buddhist like leaving the past behind). She evidently felt very strongly about her decision because that was the last I heard from her. Her absence left a void in my life, we were once very close friends since university and shared many secrets, laughs, and dreams over many pots of tea.

What helped me come to terms with the situation recently was after listening to Ajahn's talk on attachments, it dawned on me that my attachment to my friend created an unfulfilled expectation. What I created in my mind was the story about the incident, and through the retelling of the story it kept the painful lost of a friendship alive. Once, I realized that and let go of my attachment to the story of my loss friendship, I was free. I no longer have an expectation that she would contact me, and I'm good with that. Whew!

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Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Tansi by SoloCree

Awesome, what an amazing voice! You be the judge, tell me does this not make you happy?

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Midnight Crawl

It is three o'clock in the morning, and I hear a voice whispering softly to me in my dream. I continue to sleep. Then the voice gets louder more urgent, and this time succeeds in waking me up. Mommy, I can't sleep says the blanket hording boy lying next to me. My husband is missing, evidently he decided to go to Andrew's room when he climbed into our bed, lucky guy. Again, Andrew says "I can't sleep" and I say shhh, shhhh, he goes," don't say shhhh".

Alright count sheep, I say trying not wake up, and to my amazement he agrees. I know it is because he loves animals and that this appeals to him even at this early hour. To make it interesting and perhaps quicken his process back to dreamland, I say, breathe in deeply, and change the color of the sheep, breathe out slowly and change it back to white. He loves this early morning game. A few moments later he says sleepily, "the sheep are really tired now, and I think most of them are asleep."

Then silence.... beautiful silence! But now I'm wide awake and my mind begins to actively plan my day. So, I count sheep, changing their colors, back and forth ...

One day, Andrew will stop coming into our bed in the middle of the night (at least I hope so), but I will always have warm willy memories of sheep counting in the wee hours of the morning...

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